


To Poke a Sparklepire...

by XxBlackCat_ChanxX



Category: Twilight - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Best Friends, Female Friendship, Humor, Other, Parody, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-22
Updated: 2011-05-22
Packaged: 2017-10-19 17:19:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/203267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxBlackCat_ChanxX/pseuds/XxBlackCat_ChanxX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a girl finishes, in her opinion, the saddest book ever her mother gives her a set of books...The Twilight Saga. After laughing her way through like three chapters she has an idea. That something as stupid as sparkling vampires can't be made up, and to prove her theroy she must POKE ONE. Join her and her best friend and her handy taser gun as she goes on her quest to POKE A SPARKLEPIRE! (THIS IS ONE OF MY WORKS FROM FANFICTION.NET I JUST THOUGHT YOU PEOPLE WOULD APPRECIATE IT BETTER)</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Poke a Sparklepire...

NPOV (Nova's Point of View)

"DAMON," I cried as I put down my copy of Midnight. I was literally curling up in a ball, and sitting in the darkest corner of my room while tears poured down my cheeks. I cradled the book against my chest as I rocked back and forth. This was the second worst moment of my life; the first was when L.J. Smith announced she was being fired as the writer of The Vampire Diaries Series and a ghostwriter was taking her place.

"Nova, What is going on in there," My mother asked as she ran into my room.

"Mommy, DAMON'S DEAD," I said holding up the book as I continued to rock myself.

"Oh My God, You're telling me that ALL that yelling is for a character in a book? I thought you were dying or something," my mother said slightly pissed as she turned on all the lights in my room.

"Ah! It BURNS," I yelled as I dove for under my bed.

"Get out from under there this instant, or I will remove all traces of chocolate from this house and you want see any for a month," she held up my bed skirt with a serious expression on her face/

"NOT THE CHOCOLATE," I said as I scrambled out from under my bed.

"Don't you think this obsession of yours is getting a little out of hand," she said pointing around the room to my four walls. The harsh light of my room brought me back to reality. My walls were all but covered in The Vampire Diaries things. Everything from Ian Somerhalder shirtless to blown-up posters of the book covers.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said stubbornly as I nudged a stack of un-sent fan mail under my bed.

"Of course you don't," my mother said before laying something on my unmade bed," I decided it's time you get over this Vampire Diary thing, so I went to the bookstore today. One of the workers suggested these books. Apparently they are VERY popular with your age group."

I looked at the books briefly, The Twilight Saga by Stephanie Meyer. Never heard of them. My mother backed out of the room, probably hoping I would take to these books like the other kids the store worker assured loved them. I picked up the first one in the series Twilight, and flopped onto my bed.

*THIRTY MINUTES LATER*

"HAHAHAHA," I laughed my head off. I was unable to get past a few chapters. These books were horrible, but hilarious.

"So I take it you like the books," My mother said appearing out of nowhere.

"Hell no! They're crap," I said throwing the books into my trash that was to be incinerated in a bonfire I hoped to have.

"Then why were you laughing," she asked confused.

"It's because THEY SPARKLE. THE VAMPIRES SPARKLE," I spit out before succumbing to another fit of laughter. After a few more minutes of non-stop laughter I was able to add," also they are cold, "inhumanely perfect", and feel like marble. I can't help but thinking of the statue David coming to life and walking around in high school."

"Sounds interesting," she said as she pulled the books out of the trash can. Aww, there goes my chance at an un-official book burning.

"Sure, if interesting suddenly means completely idiotic," I told her as an idea came to me," I wanna poke a SPARKLEPIRE!"

I mean it was definitely possibly since no one had such a twisted imagination to be able to imagine "vampires" like that. So, that only meant the books were REAL.

"Sure sweetheart, if you can get the money together then I'll let you go wherever you need to poke a vampire," she said thinking she was indulging my imagination. Well, she was going to be in for a surprise. I hide 25% of any money I got from Christmas or my birthday over the last few years in a hole in my wall I had covered with posters, and that money had amounted to quite a bit. As soon as she left the room I started to get things together.

I grabbed a good two hundred dollars in cash from my hiding place, my largest and nicest messenger bag, a pair of clothes, and my copy of Midnight then went into the kitchen. I started filling my bag with whatever food I would need for my journey: Cookies, Pocky, Nutella, Lindt truffles, Monster Java, Milky Way bars, and any other assorted junk food I could find in the randomness that is my kitchen. I also grabbed a flashlight, my IPod, a can of mace, and a Hello Kitty Taser gun and put that in my purse before my mother came into the kitchen.

"Nova, what are you doing," she asked hesitantly as I frozen mid-motion outing my new favorite toy, the Taser gun, into my bag.

"I'm going to poke a sparklepire," I answered in the same tone of voice she used as I slowly put the Taser into my messenger bag before waving the money in front of her face.

"Where did you get that money that quickly," she asked mentally counting the money, a gift I still hadn't learned from her.

"I'm a Taurus, we're frugal creatures, it's some of the money I've saved up over the years," I said before walking out of the house.

"Where do you think you are going Missy," she said standing in the doorway.

"I told you exactly what I'm going to do, now excuse me, because I have held up my side of the agreement," I said trying to step past her, " so are you going to be a liar, or are you going to let me get by."

After like five minutes of thinking she finally stepped out of the way, "I am not giving you an answer so I can't be blamed for what you do, but hopefully this will cure you of that obsession."

"It's not an obsession Mom, and it's a totally different books. I just want to see if I poke a sparklepire if any glitter will come off on me," I yelled to her as I waved goodbye, "Look out Forks, Washington; Nova is coming!"

"WAIT, WASHINGTON," My mother yelled loudly," I THOUGHT YOU JUST MIGHT BE GOING ACORSS THE COUNTY! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RIGHT THIS SECOND NOVA TRSYTA!"

"LALALA, I'm not listening," I said as I poked my fingers in my ears.

LPOV (Lilith's point of view)

Laying out on the roof of my house, I quickly sat up when I heard the door across the street slam shut. I faintly saw Nova's silhouette walking down the driveway to her car. I got up, and put my glasses on wondering what she was doing with a duffel bag, and a wad of cash she was stuffing into her back pocket.

"Hey Nova! What are you doing?" I called out, while trying not to fall off my roof as I made my way to my bedroom window.

"Hey Lilith! I'm just on my way to poke a sparklepire." She replied with a giant grin on her face. No doubt she read the Twilight series.

"Hang on, I'll be right down." I called back as I slid through my bedroom window. I went straight to my closet and grabbed the closest bag I could find. It just so happened to be my favorite Misfits messenger bag. I threw in some clothes, shoes, makeup, hair accessories, my contacts, my two favorite purses, my wallet, my phone, and my charger. I ran to the kitchen downstairs, and started packing food. I threw in Pocky, cookies, some packs of Kool-Aid, my IPod (which somehow made it into the pantry), and three bags of chips. Most of the food I had to put in a reusable shopping bag, but at least it would be leaving the house with me. I then proceeded to the living room where I keep my money hidden from my lame ass mom, and her drunken boyfriend. Going through every hiding spot, until I had the eight hundred dollars I was looking for, I wrote a note to my mom telling her I was leaving for a while. Not that she cared, but she liked to know where I was. I grabbed my car keys, and the spare house key, and darted out the door. I locked the house, and made my way across the street to meet up with Nova.

"Umm...Lilith? Why do you look like you're ready for a trip?" Nova asked as I reached her car.

"I want to poke a sparklepire, too. Plus, I thought you could use some company, and my mom won't be back for another week. So, how far did you get in Twilight?" I stated as she looked me up and down.

"Long enough to know that all the vampires apparently use the same sparkling body wash I do; only with more frequency. Now why are you dressed like that; you do know it's the middle of summer. IN GEORGIA," She asked looking at me like I was nuts. I was wearing a dark purple tank top, black and grey striped skirt, torn leggings, combat boots, and a black leather jacket. Though that was what I wore normally no matter what season it was. Honestly, it could be a barbeque in Hell and I would still be wearing the leather jacket.

"Come on you know me. I choose not to expose my already pale skin to the sunlight. Shouldn't we be getting somewhere?" I retorted knowing what I had packed in my bag wasn't much different from what I was wearing right now. We both got into her car, which was a gently used, blood red 2008 Toyota Prius. We pulled out of her driveway, and made our way to Washington. I could already tell this was going to be a long, but interesting, trip just to poke a sparklepire.

NPOV (Nova's Point of View)

"ROAD TRIP," I yelled as my little car blazed out of the parking space. I knew that Lilith REALLY hated my driving, but well, I wasn't going to change for her. Plus, fast driving was my only stress reliever. Well, that and my music which she also wasn't very fond of. She was more rave music while I was more punk.

Because of that, in the first five minutes we were both fighting over the radio. Sure, I may have been driving, but when has that been a problem? I kept switching whatever radio station she had it on back to my IPod radio station. I started listening to the opening bars to House Of Wolves, but it didn't work for long since before I was able to hear Gerard's voice it was turned.

"Okay, what the fuck Lilith, I was listening to that song," I said slightly pissed. I loved that song.

"What? Haven't you ever heard of the rule that states that shotgun plays DJ," she said with her hand on the station control, probably waiting for another attack.

"We're not even out of the state, and you're already complaining," I answered her back with a sharp sigh.

"I am NOT complaining, I am simply voicing my opinion LOUDLY," she said before sticking out her tongue.

"Oh, very mature Lili," I answered with a stuck-out tongue of my own.

"Who's the mature one now, huh," she said smiling and fiddled with the radio a little more.

"How about either you turn it back to what I was listening to or I'll let Mr. Tasey do the talking," I said with a dark smile on my face inching my hand toward the taser gun in my bag.

"You wouldn't," she told me looking slightly worried.

"Wouldn't I? you are messing with my music," I said deadly serious.

She quickly turned back to my radio station. A new song came on. I missed House of Wolves; I silently cry an emo tear in my mind. Lilith suddenly got very quiet. That was never a good sign with her. She must be planning something, and now I had to figure out what. I kept my hand on Mr. Tasey, the hello kitty taser. My driving got progressively worse, but the good thing was that I wasn't going to wreck or fall asleep anytime soon. Especially sleep, I needed to watch my back. I had a psycho in my car, even though she was basically my best friend.


End file.
